The Superpower We Take for Granted
K-25 Control Room 1946 Oak Ridge by Ed Westcott, 1946
One of the advantages of my job as a facilitator is being an outside observer of teams and how they interact. Last week, I was working through a strategy session with a team and realized that the leadership, for all their fantastic qualities, was not really picking up on what the team was saying about their current capacities, workload, and bottlenecks.
As the session progressed, the disconnect became increasingly clear. The leadership team was focused on ambitious growth targets while the frontline team was signaling burnout and resource constraints—not through direct confrontation but through subtle cues, hesitations, and carefully worded concerns that were being missed entirely.
It got me thinking a lot about listening and what it really means in our hyper-responsive world. We're constantly primed to react, respond, and move on. But what if the most powerful tool in our communication arsenal isn't speaking clearly, but listening deeply?
The Three Levels of Listening
In coaching circles, there's a concept of three distinct levels of listening that transforms how we show up in conversations:
Level 1: Internal Listening This is where most of us live. We hear others through the filter of our own thoughts, preparing our response while they're still talking. We're listening primarily to our own internal voice.
Level 2: Focused Listening Here, we direct our full attention to the speaker. We notice their tone, body language, and word choice. We're present, but we're still listening with our own perspective as the backdrop.
Level 3: Global Listening At this level, we expand our awareness beyond the speaker to include the environment, underlying emotions, and what's not being said. We're listening with our intuition as much as our ears.
What's fascinating is that we can actually feel the difference when someone shifts from Level 1 to Level 3 listening. Haven't you experienced that moment when you suddenly realize someone is truly hearing you? It's like a weight lifts, and you can finally express what you actually mean, not just what you initially thought to say.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
— Stephen R. Covey
Beyond Hearing Words
Psychologist Dr. Mark Goulston explains that we listen with far more than our ears. Our brains process tone, pace, micro-expressions, posture, and even breathing patterns. In fact, research suggests that when we're deeply listened to, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals that reduce stress and increase connection.
This might explain why a five-minute conversation with someone who truly listens can feel more productive than an hour-long meeting where everyone is just waiting for their turn to speak.
PRACTICE: The Capacity-Signal Detector
In that strategy session I mentioned, what the team needed most was for leadership to detect their capacity signals. Try this practice in your next team meeting:
Create space for real talk. Start by asking: "What's one challenge you're facing that might impact our goals?" Then, wait longer than feels comfortable for responses. Often, the most honest insights come after that first awkward silence.
When someone shares a concern, practice the "Tell me more" technique. Simply say, "Could you tell me more about that?" and then listen without planning your defense or solution. Notice not just their words, but their tone, pace, and what they emphasize.
Before moving on, reflect back what you heard about capacity — not just the operational details, but the underlying message. For example: "It sounds like you're concerned that adding this new project might force compromises on quality in other areas. Is that right?"
This practice helps bridge the gap between strategic ambition and practical reality. It's especially powerful for leaders who naturally gravitate toward vision and possibilities but might miss signals about current limitations.
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