Are you accidentally creating barriers?
Wedding in Oak Ridge by Ed Westcott
I need to tell you about what happened last week. It nearly crippled me.
I was looking through my connections on LinkedIn and fell into a complete comparison spiral. With every profile I clicked, I didn't see opportunities to connect – I used each resume highlight, project launch, and job title as a measuring stick for my "dismal" success. By evening, I was slumped on my couch, totally deflated.
Thankfully, I’m part of a gratitude community of practice that provided a means to reframe my comparison into a sense of gratitude for the people who have shaped my career path, mentored me, or inspired me. Noting my gratitude for each individual also allowed me to celebrate that such sharp minds and creative people are doing so much good in the world.
Are you familiar with the quote, "comparison is the thief of joy"? Well, I've realized it's also the thief of connection. In a sense, it is the antithesis of the "better together" ideology.
"No one else’s wins are your losses. That’s why you have to change the way you look at other people’s success...Jealousy is an invitation from your future self. It is inviting you to look more closely at someone else—not to make you feel inferior, but to show you what is possible." - Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory
This Week's Practice: The Connection Pivot
If you, too, ever feel that comparison trigger (I have a hunch you might know the feeling I'm talking about), try this instead:
Take a breath and notice what's happening (yes, literally pause and breathe).
Send them a note of genuine gratitude - maybe for something they've taught you or how they've influenced your work.
Share a specific acknowledgment of their work or impact - what do you admire about what they're doing?
If it feels right, ask for their insight about something they're particularly great at.
Interested in getting future posts delivered to your inbox? Sign up for our newsletter, Better Together, below.
